Oh gosh I'm an idiot. Please try this one instead.
Looks like EFI variable MokIgnoreDB-605dab50-e046-4300-abb6-3dd810dd8b23 and EFI variable db-d719b2cb-3d3a-4596-a3bc-dad00e67656f are causing issues
Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: Reading EFI variable MokIgnoreDB-605dab50-e046-4300-abb6-3dd810dd8b23 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: Reading EFI variable db-d719b2cb-3d3a-4596-a3bc-dad00e67656f Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: ------------[ cut here ]------------ Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: [Firmware Bug]: Page fault caused by firmware at PA: 0xffffbc34c0068000 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: WARNING: CPU: 7 PID: 98 at arch/x86/platform/efi/quirks.c:735 efi_crash_gracefully_on_page_fault+0x50/0xf0 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: Modules linked in: Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: CPU: 7 PID: 98 Comm: kworker/u24:1 Not tainted 5.16.8-t2 #2 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: Hardware name: Apple Inc. MacBookPro16,1/Mac-E1008331FDC96864, BIOS 1715.81.2.0.0 (iBridge: 19.16.10744.0.0,0) 01/06/2022 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: Workqueue: efi_rts_wq efi_call_rts Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: RIP: 0010:efi_crash_gracefully_on_page_fault+0x50/0xf0 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: Code: fc e8 44 30 03 00 49 81 fc ff 0f 00 00 76 08 48 3d 50 04 3c 9b 74 04 41 5c 5d c3 4c 89 e6 48 c7 c7 c0 00 7c 9a e8 69 71 be 00 <0f> 0b 83 3d 87 62 11 02 0a 0f 84 0a 62 be 00 e8 bc 1b 00 00 48 8b Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: RSP: 0000:ffffbc34c03f29d8 EFLAGS: 00010086 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: RAX: 0000000000000000 RBX: ffffbc34c03f2a18 RCX: 0000000000000000 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: RDX: 0000000000000003 RSI: ffffbc34c03f2820 RDI: 00000000ffffffff Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: RBP: ffffbc34c03f29e0 R08: 0000000000000003 R09: 0000000000000001 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: R10: ffff9f6801685640 R11: 0000000000000001 R12: ffffbc34c0068000 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: R13: 0000000000000000 R14: ffffbc34c03f2b68 R15: ffff9f6801233380 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: FS: 0000000000000000(0000) GS:ffff9f6b6ebc0000(0000) knlGS:0000000000000000 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: CS: 0010 DS: 0000 ES: 0000 CR0: 0000000080050033 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: CR2: ffffbc34c0068000 CR3: 00000001001ec002 CR4: 00000000003706e0 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: Call Trace: Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: <TASK> Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: page_fault_oops+0x4f/0x2c0 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: ? search_bpf_extables+0x6b/0x80 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: ? search_module_extables+0x50/0x80 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: ? search_exception_tables+0x5b/0x60 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: kernelmode_fixup_or_oops+0x9e/0x110 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: __bad_area_nosemaphore+0x155/0x190 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: bad_area_nosemaphore+0x16/0x20 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: do_kern_addr_fault+0x8c/0xa0 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: exc_page_fault+0xd8/0x180 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: asm_exc_page_fault+0x1e/0x30 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: RIP: 0010:0xfffffffeefc440c5 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: Code: 31 c9 48 29 f9 48 83 e1 0f 74 0c 4c 39 c1 49 0f 47 c8 49 29 c8 f3 a4 4c 89 c1 49 83 e0 0f 48 c1 e9 04 74 2c f3 0f 7f 44 24 18 <f3> 0f 6f 06 66 0f e7 07 48 83 c6 10 48 83 c7 10 e2 ee 0f ae f0 66 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: RSP: 0000:ffffbc34c03f2c18 EFLAGS: 00010286 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: RAX: fffffffeefc9205a RBX: ffffffff9a81787a RCX: 0000000000000033 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: RDX: ffffbc34c0067d20 RSI: ffffbc34c0067ff6 RDI: fffffffeefc92330 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: RBP: ffffbc34c03f2ca0 R08: 0000000000000001 R09: ffffbc34c0068326 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: R10: fffffffeefc8e018 R11: 000000000019f2a5 R12: 0000000000000000 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: R13: ffffbc34c0067db0 R14: ffffbc34c0067d01 R15: 0000000000000607 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: ? __efi_call+0x28/0x30 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: ? switch_mm+0x20/0x30 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: ? efi_call_rts+0x20d/0x970 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: ? process_one_work+0x222/0x3f0 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: ? worker_thread+0x4a/0x3d0 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: ? kthread+0x17a/0x1a0 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: ? process_one_work+0x3f0/0x3f0 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: ? set_kthread_struct+0x40/0x40 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: ? ret_from_fork+0x22/0x30 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: </TASK> Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: ---[ end trace c81d89c8fdfe87c4 ]--- Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: efi: Froze efi_rts_wq and disabled EFI Runtime Services Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: integrity: Couldn't get size: 0x8000000000000015 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: integrity: MODSIGN: Couldn't get UEFI db list Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: efi: EFI Runtime Services are disabled! Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: integrity: Couldn't get size: 0x8000000000000015 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: integrity: Couldn't get UEFI dbx list Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: integrity: Couldn't get size: 0x8000000000000015 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: integrity: Couldn't get mokx list Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: integrity: Couldn't get size: 0x8000000000000015 Feb 12 11:01:52 MacBook kernel: integrity: Couldn't get UEFI MokListRT
The full journalctl log is here on https://gist.githubusercontent.com/AdityaGarg8/8e820c2724a65fb4bbb5deae2b358...
With CONFIG_LOAD_UEFI_KEYS=n, these variables are not seen and EFI Runtime Services work.